jessica and nick simpson's christmas horror show
why are these two popular now? jessica takes her "favorite songs of all time" and covers them, stealing millions from the original artists. nick is a poor solo performer who happens to be married to the dumbest broad (excuse me ladies) of all time. jessica makes a few million a year. nick makes a few thousand a year. jessica spends billions each year. nick begs on the street corner to allow his wife to buy $10000 bras. the last thing i wanted to do tonight when i turned the tv on was to spend christmas with them! ...and don't get me started on that sister of jessica's who happens to be quite hot but one of the world's worst singers.
i used to think jessica had a good voice, but have never enjoyed her music. i can respect a good voice, though, as i do enjoy music. however, i think reality finally set in and i stopped being retarded. moaning and asthmatic breathing is not performing... that just sounds like a personal problem to me. if she would spend half as much energy into singing as she does into her health problems and being retarded, maybe she could be a respectable artist. oh, yeah, and also that tiny little detail of how she could never come up with or even pretend to have an original thought (aka song) in her head. it also bothers me that she continues to market her retarded side. i don't see too many people with actual mental disabilities marketing themselves, so why do we think she is cute or funny for being an idiot?! i say, "nick, please get her to shut up and stop putting her on film and tv."
on to nick... poor guy. he's just a regular guy who married what he thought might be talent, beauty, and a genuine person to spend his whole life with. instead, he got a talentless, extremely gorgeous moron who shouldn't operate machinery with or without the influence of alcohol (i'd hate to see her on booze!). nick seems to be a nice guy who got caught up in something that simply caught him off guard. well, at least she's hot (not really my personal opinion here)...
and how about tag-along ashley... cute with no voice. if snl didn't prove it, buy her album, i'm sure you'll understand. how do these people get record contracts? oh yeah... older talentless, good-looking sisters! but seriously, i can sing better than that, just ask me and i'll sing for you. oh and i almost forgot... you are not a punk ashley and you don't have the edge your sister lacks. you just can't fit into a genre, so you tried to invent your own...
how about jessica looking like cruella deville... check the pictures online, she dressed like her on the special... i'm not going there...
let's sum up: i feel sorry for nick because he's not a celebrity and he married a moron. i don't like jessica because she steals songs and has asthma. i don't like ashley because she tagged along and also has a complete lack of talent (evidently, no big deal these days britney). finally, i should have a record contract (seriously, i should... just ask me!)
i used to think jessica had a good voice, but have never enjoyed her music. i can respect a good voice, though, as i do enjoy music. however, i think reality finally set in and i stopped being retarded. moaning and asthmatic breathing is not performing... that just sounds like a personal problem to me. if she would spend half as much energy into singing as she does into her health problems and being retarded, maybe she could be a respectable artist. oh, yeah, and also that tiny little detail of how she could never come up with or even pretend to have an original thought (aka song) in her head. it also bothers me that she continues to market her retarded side. i don't see too many people with actual mental disabilities marketing themselves, so why do we think she is cute or funny for being an idiot?! i say, "nick, please get her to shut up and stop putting her on film and tv."
on to nick... poor guy. he's just a regular guy who married what he thought might be talent, beauty, and a genuine person to spend his whole life with. instead, he got a talentless, extremely gorgeous moron who shouldn't operate machinery with or without the influence of alcohol (i'd hate to see her on booze!). nick seems to be a nice guy who got caught up in something that simply caught him off guard. well, at least she's hot (not really my personal opinion here)...
and how about tag-along ashley... cute with no voice. if snl didn't prove it, buy her album, i'm sure you'll understand. how do these people get record contracts? oh yeah... older talentless, good-looking sisters! but seriously, i can sing better than that, just ask me and i'll sing for you. oh and i almost forgot... you are not a punk ashley and you don't have the edge your sister lacks. you just can't fit into a genre, so you tried to invent your own...
how about jessica looking like cruella deville... check the pictures online, she dressed like her on the special... i'm not going there...
let's sum up: i feel sorry for nick because he's not a celebrity and he married a moron. i don't like jessica because she steals songs and has asthma. i don't like ashley because she tagged along and also has a complete lack of talent (evidently, no big deal these days britney). finally, i should have a record contract (seriously, i should... just ask me!)
posted by eck at 8:54 PM
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